Writers Block..

                                                    ....On love?

         That's right, I wrote that correct. On love, and very specific to be honest. I still love that girl to death but I cannot go back into the past and see where we went wrong because in honesty she'll grow and find out that we could have handled that maturely and we could be a stronger couple and we could get over barriers. When it feels impossible to get over those hard barriers, I am always there for her when she needs me. I will never stop loving her, I think about it day and night. What if she had just loved me as much as I love her? Well there are always going to be " What if I could?..." We all make mistakes and I guess my mistake was opening my heart up and trusting her with it. It turns out my heart got shattered and now there is noone, noone, but me to pickup the pieces of my dead heart.

I wish that there was a reset button, or a redo button for mistakes you have made and grown to learn from them. But there isn't and that is life's consequences for screwing up. You know that there is going to be someone to always pick you up when you feel you cannot even pickup yourself or breathe. The night that I was at my lowest, at my loneliest. My friend that I hadn't spoken to all summer, yeah all summer messaged me saying " Hey we haven't spoken in a long time". That night I went to go see my friend Kelly and her listening was enough for me to just stop myself from anything that I wanted to do with all the energy in my body. I really do love Vanessa, even though she will.. Never love me.

I will wait, only for you, and you know your special when someone like me will give up their life to wait for someone like you. That show's true love, and I wish that we could talk like bestfriends do, I guess that was an illusion I never found the trick to. I thought bestfriends talk about how they feel, whats bothering them, what they love, what they hate. I know I did, maybe that was self-centered? One thing that im assured of is that I will never stop loving you, or waiting for you.

Call me when you want to be the girl I know and love because we both know we want to be together for the rest of our lives. WE just need communication, love & trust, we can start new and build our way up if that is how you want to go about it and maybe that might be best. I don't know if you will read this but if you are, that means you still care for me as I care about you. I know before you didn't want to call but maybe its time we talk about what went wrong and just try...again?